To infinity, and beyond

January first, two years ago, I was laying in my bed on 11th street racking my brain for a list of things I wanted to improve or accomplish the next year. On my stomach, pen in my hand, I remember vividly staring at my turquoise bound journal completely uncertain of what I wanted to etch into stone. And like most profound moments in my life it hit me calmly: This year I am going to do everything I want to do. If I decide I don't want to attend class, I will stay home. If my body says it wants chocolate cake at 3 a.m., we'll get it. If my body wants to run, we'll go, and if my body wants to sleep in until noon, we will. I listened to my instincts and I will remember that year as one of the most content periods in my life.

I'm writing this because I have spent more than a healthy amount of time trying to figure out what it is that I am going to do post graduation. Do I want to get a journalism job? Do I want to be a journalist? Do I want to move? How can I use the skills I have learned to make money and also be completely happy and fulfilled? And while I have asked myself all of these questions (plus 257 others) there are a few things I am certain I want.

1. To be madly in love [check]
2. To travel
3. To write
4. To perform numbers 1, 2 and 3 simultaneously.

There are times when I look inward and find the signs have been present all along and I nearly apologize to the Universe aloud for not putting the puzzle together earlier. We all get gut feelings. I rarely act on mine, shoving them into my mental filling cabinet under "To Remember for Later." But last night I knew. I knew when the words "Do exactly what you want to do." left Augusten's mouth, that I was at the right place at the right time. And even if that message has entered by brain a million times, last night I felt confident beginning to craft an action plan.