The Art of Public Speaking

It is my last semester and I'm finally being forced to take the dreaded speech class. I have been enrolled on two other occasions, both instances resulting in a withdrawal after hearing that the number of speeches we were going to be required to give was more than zero. Speech class is terrible for a number of reasons, first being that I LOATHE speaking in front of groups and second, that I REALLY LOATHE speaking in front of groups. But the journalism department did not ask me before they added it to the required courses.

Besides existing, the other dumb thing about speech class is that the book is $130. Yeah. One-hundred and thirty dollars for a speech book. Because I already bought the stupid thing, I decided to give it a go and opened to chapter one. I was also motivated by the fact that it was assigned and I am a good student who always does their reading homework. Ha-Ha. After flipping through the first three chapters, all of which were BOR-ING, the book's worthlessness began oozing. Twelve pages on how to be a good listener? Eight on the difference between a conversation and public speaking? The history of public speaking? Let me guess, once upon a time Joe Smith invented the voice, the hill and the crowd and he stood on that hill, used his voice and the crowd listened! I knew it.

And the next time I get confused and think I'm having a conversation when I'm actually in front of the classroom giving a speech, I'll let you know that I'm DEAD.